From Dr. Ben Kim’s webpage http://www.drbenkim.com/simple-way-lift-your-spirits.htm
A Simple Way
Posted By Dr. Ben Kim on Mar 09, 2010
The other day, I found myself feeling unusually uptight. I couldn't quite put a finger on why I felt like busting up some dry wall. I just felt like I was off, like my mind was a pyramid standing upside down trying to balance its point on a right-side-up pyramid.
On my way home, I stopped off at a bank to make a deposit. But I went to a branch that I don't usually go to, and the teller spent what felt like a few minutes scrolling through my history of transactions, trying to size up the possibility that I was attempting to deposit a fraudulent check.
Of course, it didn't help that I was anxious to shake the day off my shoulders, and that I was eager to get home to play with our boys. And then the teller printed off what appeared to be a list of previous transactions from my account and disappeared into a back office.
Another few minutes later, a set of eyes peered around the doorway of the back office and gave me a quick once over, only to disappear for another couple of minutes, though from my vantage point, I could see that "they" had pulled up my account on their monitor and were scrolling again.
By the time the teller came back with her manager in tow, let's just say that I wasn't feeling emotionally balanced. Struggling to contain my frustration and general feeling of uneasiness, I asked, "What's going on?" in a flat tone.
They patiently explained that because they weren't used to seeing me at their branch, they had to check my account to make sure that they didn't have to put a hold on my funds. They also kindly apologized for the wait time, and said that they would be sure to recognize me the next time and avoid a similar delay.
But I felt incapable of playing nice. I told them I would just know better next time and go to my home branch, and though I'm guessing that I managed to blurt this out in a semi-conciliatory tone, unless they were medicated with emotion-numbing drugs, I'm sure that they could feel the heavy, negative force that I was emitting.
And as is usually the case when I behave badly, just a second or two after the interaction was over and I was on my way out to my car, I felt like the world's biggest jerk.
Why did I have to let such petty anger and impatience boil up in me? I knew going in that I was having a tough day, so why wasn't I able to check my negativity at the door and just be patient and kind with a teller who was simply trying to do her job, and who also happened to be quite nice about the delay?
I stewed in my car trying to figure out why I was feeling so darn prickly, and more importantly, what I could do to snap out of it.
Then I remembered: in the past, I was always able to rely on showing unexpected generosity and thoughtfulness as a way of lifting my spirits.
And it just so happened that a couple of days earlier, we received a call from a lady named Lilli at our public library who had found our youngest son's community center ID card, and in recognizing his picture on the card, gave us a call at home to let us know that she had found it.
So I drove straight to a local tea shop, picked up a gift card, and dropped it off for Lilli at the library on my way home.
Almost instantly, I felt healed.
Amazing, right?
I don't even remember what it was that had me on edge that day. I couldn't tell you if it was a client being unkind to me, or a disagreement that I had with a family member. Whatever it was, all it took for me to shed my toxic energy was doing something nice for someone.
I'm so glad that I am back in touch with this kind of magic that we can create at any time to bring peace into our lives. What a great tool to avoid getting sucked into a seemingly inescapable vortex of bad energy.
Bestowing an unexpected act of thoughtfulness and/or generosity on another doesn't require a thick wallet. Not at all.
I remember back when I was a chiropractic student in the suburbs of Chicago, in paying my toll fee on a highway, I would sometimes pay double and let the attendant know that I was also paying for the next person to come through. Even without knowing who I was giving a nice surprise to, that extra 40 cents was a priceless gift to myself.
I think it's pretty clear that we need each other to get through life. We need to feel connected, useful, appreciated. So it makes sense to me that generating good energy through small surprises can change our momentum for the better, no matter how tough a day or week or month or year or string of years we've had.
I was going to write about hiatal hernias during my writing window today, but the voice in my head told me to write about this instead. And I have to say that I'm feeling really good about sharing these thoughts. So good that I feel inspired to get a tea at some drive through window on the way home tonight just so that I can pay for the person behind me and give whoever it is a little boost in faith. Faith in humanity, I mean.
If you have a favorite way of surprising a loved one or a stranger with a thoughtful act or gift, please consider sharing it via the comments or facebook connect sections below. The more ideas we have in our pockets, the better, right? Thanks for reading.
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